What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
