On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
FUCK WHALES
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
