Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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