:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
we should paint friendship bongs
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