We won't sleep together?
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
