16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
