I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I am mentally ready for anal.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
