he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
