i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
