Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
