Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
