Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
