This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
