Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
