I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
