I like to think it a success when the cops are called
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
