Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
