I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
