haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
