my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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