im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
is it fun? or sober?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
