I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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