It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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