you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
