I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
