why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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