escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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