Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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