I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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