can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
