No awkward lesbian experiences without me
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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