it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
