and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
