They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
