you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
