Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
