someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
