Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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