it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
