Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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