"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
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