I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
