glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
