I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
