Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
