I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
