You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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