That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
