Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
My dick has a subreddit
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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