it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Randomize
